IF YOU'RE NOT GETTING WHERE YOU WANT IN LIFE (Audio Link Inside)

AUDIO VERSION HERE:

https://open.spotify.com/show/0p8TW6IHJ7l6cRukc6d33u

And circumstances seem to keep conspiring against you...

then you are putting something in the way of where you are and where you want to be.

You subconsciously don't feel you deserve it yet.

And if you're in this situation - you are probably going to get triggered when you hear this.

You might protest.

You might be right. But let's explore a bit dear adventurer. ❤️

If you've reached a point where it's just not working out for you - relationship, lifestyle, job, finances.....

the thing that is distancing you from what you desire, is something that you up until now cannot or are not yet willing to see.

Makes sense right?

You might have been praying for it.

Doing all the right things

Working so hard (on all the wrong things)

And yet it's not here.

Why?

Maybe you have a conditioned belief that you don't deserve financial freedom unless you work constantly? (I definitely had this and most entrepreneurs seem to go through this)

Maybe a core belief is that you cannot be with a partner that you deeply desire unless you abandon yourself in some way (yep, check)

Oh yes... a deep seated sense of unworthiness is SO FUN! ;)

If you've been on the journey of personal growth for a while, these won't be new concepts to you.

If life feels excessively hard...

Do you believe at your core that's how it's meant to be?

I'm guessing not.

Of course we have to work for the things we love.

For the dream relationship - we have to nurture it and ourselves every day.

To be successful in business we have to show up every day and move towards our goals.

But if you're manifesting like crazy and it's just not happening...

Isn't it possible you're just missing something?

Something that may be PAINFULLY obvious once you see it.

To truly acknowledge our unsatisfactory reality is PAINFUL.

It's natural to be, rightly or wrongly, heavily invested in our context and the reality we've been creating thus far, even if it is quietly stopping us from what we ultimately (perhaps secretly) want.

I've had (and still have) desires that I wouldn't dare declare even to myself.

There are a few possibilities here (this is not an exhaustive list)..

- You don't ACTUALLY want it. You have been conditioned into believing this is what's good for you. This is not fun to realize. Prepare for world crumbling!

- What you say you want, isn't for your highest good and the universe has a higher and far more beautiful plan already underway. You probably know this already. Yes you can shake your fist at the sky now. The universe has got you babe.

- You are unconsciously sabotaging having that thing due to a deep seated feeling of not deserving it.

Deep down a part of you doesn't truly believe you deserve it (enjoy that rabbit hole of therapy and inner work..) , or there is attachment to a hi-story or past events.

And all of this, like everything, can change in a moment.

If you're exhausted from trying.... it's good to remind yourself:

Until we truly own our desires, we are prone to taking ineffective actions, rationalized as steps towards the goal (or maybe even THE goal)... but deep down know that we are choosing the LONG, UNPLEASANT ROAD. The long road represents the gap between the thing and our sense of worthiness of it.

I believe we choose this path because we haven't fully integrated that desire and/or feel undeserving.

A part of our system doesn't yet feel it's possible for us.

For example, entering into relationships or situationships that feel aligned with what you want but are missing something FUNDAMENTAL.

You are energetically aware of this but choose to look the other way, hoping it will change in the future.

You know what is going to happen.

I'll bet you've been there before.

Deep down you know in that situation you are NOT going to get what you deeply desire.

Until the painful inevitable end.

And though you have probably learned a lot, grown and deepened...

You're back at the starting line again (albeit upgraded, hooray!)

The universe is smart. It will create something SO close but yet so far... that creates enough pain that you might actually see what you've been avoiding and face what you've been ignoring.

IT SUCKS

My God it is painful.

I am a believer that although some roads are necessarily deeply painful, softness on the path IS available - when we choose to navigate it more consciously.

There will be longer periods of not doing and being in surrender. This is something most of us suck at. It's something I'd recommend getting better at, even as the avatar of society shakes its fist at you (in your head at least) and shames you for not constantly DOING.

What now? How do we create a different reality?

Once again - it comes down to acceptance of the present.

When you sit with yourself and admit, truly and fully.

I have been wanting this thing but it's just not happening...

"SPIRIT,

LORD, sweet baby Jesus, show me ALL I need to see to move through this. I will do

WHAT

EVER

IT

TAKES..!"

Sit with it. Feel it fully. Own it. These are not words. This is an energetic surrender.

And if you're like me, you might have been dancing around fully committing to this for some time, because part of you knows that what comes after this declaration, is probably going to turn your world upside down. 🙃

What has been creating your current reality cannot create your new one. Some new components are needed and some old ones must be discarded, otherwise it would already be here.

Again, nothing new here.

A part of us is always trying to come back to homeostasis.

When we try to diverge from that established core, there's always resistance.

Like a big amorphous blob of energy - let's call it el blobbo. When eager tendrils reach out - they don't yet have the strength to reach too far on their own to establish a new home.

The established power of el blobbo will pull them back - there is history, attachment, habit that holds weight.

It takes consistent aligned action and re-affirming of those desires to create that pathway to the new reality. That eager tendril .. supported by others, with time will build a beautiful and stable path that allows it's former master (after some integrating and condensing of now useless parts) to migrate and feel at home on this shiny new planet full of possibility.

One thing i've realized, is significant change was made especially hard for me when I put myself in prolonged situations that I thought were what I desired, but ACTUALLY energetically reinforced a story that I am undeserving.

For me - this felt icky, a heavy feeling in my belly. Like bathing in a pool that seems beautiful, but also is slowly sucking my life force energy and before I know it I'm too invested to move out of it.

It is our nature as humans. Although we strive to be better, we secretly crave holding on to the same.

it's OK - the nature of humanity is not to be shamed.

But the more we can TRULY see and acknowledge all of those invisible chains that we've created for ourselves - and lovingly dismantle them - the more space there is for life to easefully bring you what you really want.

If something is really, truly important to you, and you haven't yet made it on your own.... having the courage to authentically share where you're at with those who have the capacity and understanding to receive you, is essential. Be it a men's/women's group, therapist, good friend.

You are not alone in this. We all want to see each other rise.

Sometimes it takes those truly humbling actions of surrender.. kneeling or bowing to the universe to say that powerul sentence..... I need help. I surrender. Over and over again..

Oh, how I always wish I had said it sooner.